I know MS Office

What does it mean to have advanced knowledge of all Microsoft Office applications when you have an HBA in Political Science which could have been a BSc in botany if I’d stayed for one more class, followed by an MA in Economics?

I have a different version of this list, with “Learning Objectives” and “other functions/uses” for each of the following softwares.

I do not claim to have advanced knowledge of Trados, Wordfast, SPSS, STATA or Cubase. But I have figured out how to do everything I have wanted to use them for (except for land me a job).

 

Excel

–        Tables, properly formatted for export or direct use.

–        Can build databases from diverse sources and ensure suitable data orientation to be used directly with correct programming for any other statistical manipulation.

–        Can use datasets to produce a large variety of descriptive statistics, whether or not internal to Excel; can interpret descriptive statistics and probe data with various linear and non-linear modelling and/or regression techniques according to mainstream statistical methods or based on more rigorous investigation with reference to literature, etc.

–        Statistical techniques for which I can describe and interpret data and outputs.

  • Cumulative distribution, binomial distribution, chi-square including kurtosis, skew, and various types of tails, confidence intervals, covariance of various forms, exponential distribution, F-probability, F-test, log-normal distribution, percentiles, rank, Poisson distribution, standard deviation and its contribution to many other statistical indicators, t-tests and distributions, variance, and other statistical indicators use and interpret a variety of trig calculus outputs (eng.), financial modelling functions, etc. Did I miss something? Just let me know. If Excel can do it, I can use it.

–        Simple techniques for reporting basic information about data, and when it might make sense to use them.

  • Average, count, extract a record, max value, min value, linear and non-linear transformations, additions, forex operations, boolean operators, logical functions (if, or, and), rapidly learn/build shortcuts for commonly used tasks, scientific notation (period), write formulas, transpose a table, sort data, use multiple worksheets and workbooks, etc.

–        Figures, with effective display, using multiple approaches when one is not enough given the limited table options available in Excel.

–        Present various accounting or financial forecasts and projections according to diverse numerical and/or graphical methods.

–        Document types, beyond uses for data manipulation for export in more visually friendly environments.

  • Invoices (potentially linked to create input for accounting).
  • Balance sheets, projections, etc. for ABC or other purposes.

 

Word

–        More importantly, I can produce content of diverse forms. But it is good to know that someone in the office can do the following, and can easily expand the list in about as long as it takes to say jiffy.

–        Can do:

  • Format and arrange material in a way which allows for clear communication of diverse information, including visual inputs including graphs, images and tables.
  • Create a table of contents, index, bibliography, figure and table captions and titles, cross references.

 

Powerpoint

–        Can do:

  • Create audio presentation slide shows.
  • Deliver slideshow presentation.
  • Keep it simple on paper, because, even with structure and preparation, it might not be simple off paper.
  • Import visual elements from other software, by capturing the screen if necessary.
  • Focus on the task at hand, and use the .ppt or pps. as a means to an end, not an end unto itself, except perhaps for training materials.
  • Experiment with possibilities if/when good ideas comes up on how to present one or more ideas within a presentation.

 

Outlook

–        Can do:

  • Respond to an email promptly when necessary.
  • Prioritize tasks.
  • Send emails to one or many individuals or groups without setting up everyone to get spammed.
  • Attach documents, such as marketing materials to diffuse to clients or partners, or perhaps files exchanged at interim or final stages of development with colleagues.

 

Access

–        Can do:

  • Use Access to export data for use in other programs.
  • Import data into Access, to later re-export for use in other programs.

 

OSs, hardware and networks.

–        DOS

  • I can work from a command prompt to open a program.

–        Windows- 95, 98, XP and 7

  • Set up networks, manage file sharing/access on a network.
  • Routine maintenance towards resource optimization.

–        Apple

  • Set up networks, manage file sharing/access on a network.

–        Replace or add additional hard disks, replace fan, obtain adaptors, etc.

–        Daily backup (minimum).

–        How to use the yellow pages if the internet goes down and I need to get a computer fixed and the IT guy just went on permanent leave because there was an end to network maintenance and requests for technical support

–        Did I send it to the IT department by accident? I sure hope not. We’d be in trouble unless I already knew what I’d have to know.

 

Social media

–        Were you looking for something of substance? Yes, I can find related people and things and click on pictures to exercise the verb known as “friending” or “following” people. Did I ever wonder what would happen if I spent hours a day doing this? Yes. Then what? Mummmmm… wondering about people who do stuff like that. Does your clientele need a daily reminder of your existence in order to to business with them? If so, I sure hope they are worth it. Otherwise, this is a slightly more advanced and invasive version of an address book. I also know how to use an address book. Content. That’s what you need. Only the best BS. Your client’s time is worth too much to waste with most of that crap, although it may help to plan the next bbq or meeting. Damage mitigation could be important. For that, we always need to remember: we’re the experts, don’t take no guff from no payin’ clients. Don look no good.

–        Don’t try to drag your audience into your living room. Find where they are and engage with them where they are comfortable.

 

Additional skills in case a project comes out of left field and half the office is on holiday

I can also enter numeric data at well over 10,000 keystrokes per hour, but I hope not to be doing this in more than 5-25s increments unless it really makes sense.

I can also select culturally sensitive music and food, but most likely your foreign clients are tired of this stuff and wouldn’t mind just going for something Italian or perhaps sushi with vegan and nut free options just in case. Just keep it fresh, please.

I can also welcome clients in at least five languages, and probably even close the deal in all five languages if they actually want what they came for. But really, they probably want to practice their English anyways after the tens of grands invested in English lessons.

 

Shall I prepare the presentation or deliver it? Well, if you want to work with the best, you might just find yourself proofreading. You don’t get the “the’s” and “s’s” right if any of the above is BS.

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